While I'm busy working on my "curl game",  our 14 year old son is working on his "weight loss game", "his anxiety game", "his Asperger game",  his ADD, Depression etc.  I am on a diet along with my son who would desperately like to loose weight before he starts high school.

I think he is trying to start fresh.  Become something new.  Not a freak?

He hasn't been in school since January 2012.  School creates a lot of pressure for him both because of his ADD and giftedness but also because of this AS and social anxiety.  Even when he appears normal on the outside he is scratching and clawing to get away from all of these "normal" people and these social norms that exhaust him.

Yesterday I slipped on my diet.  Bad!  And since I am a binge eater, when I slip it is a colossal, tangled legged, downward, top speed, spiral, tuck and roll to the end.  My son was devastated.

"You're not my mother."
"How could you do this?"
"I don't even know you."
"So you're just going to give up...."

I sat back, angry and indignant and hurt by the truth of it, slurping down my second giant bowl of apple pie and ice cream.  It is very hard to be perfect.  Lord knows I've spent my entire life trying, but kids are a wiz at pointing out every flaw you have and then making you feel like shit about it.

I already felt like shit, so I only felt shitty-er.  Today, my son decided to follow me down the slide into oblivion and ate a half a gallon of ice cream and 12oz bag of chocolate chips.  Both of us have been battling with our weight for a while although he was skinny as a kid and I just never was.  So his binge was my fault.

Bad genes?  Nature vs. Nurture?  I really don't know.  So I will continue dieting and trying to help my son do the same as I work on my curls to see if maybe, just maybe, I can get SOME damn thing right.